Not shyness in the usual sense. I think generally people would not regard me as shy. Would be more likely to use words like confident, assertive... maybe reserved.
Undeniably, deeply shy am I. This has been borne home to me this week when I consider how little I know people in the communities I live in. Communities that I have been living in for many years.
How easy it is to engage at a surface level, through the prism of interactions primarily in a non-Indigenous world. Gravitating towards non-Indigenous safety zones. Validating priorities that don't reflect reality outside my working space.
This reinforces to me how deeply culture guides our interactions, for it's not for want of intent or interest on my part that this has occurred. Get out of your cultural depth, and what happens: ghettos. Not in the pernicious sense of the word (although this is certainly possible, at its extreme) but in the sense of familiar worlds. You and me. Not us and them (and we know who we are).
Just like I observe that Eleanor, nearly 3 years old, has a completely different way of interacting socially within her own cultural context and outside it. An easy confidence, quick to play, hesitant to share, but essentially comfortable. In a cross-cultural context, not too bad but her genuine cross-cultural forays are few. Outside her context, she copies what we do. We stand up against the wall with our legs crossed, so does she. We sit on the verandah edge, so does she.
A few people have said to me 'what an experience she's having!' but I know that's not true. She's living in a remote Aboriginal community, but she's really a Westerner in a Western world. She spends 95% of her time with her parents, in our world. She interacts as we do. She's not living a remote Aboriginal life in the way you might imagine it. Those comments about experience presuppose an immersion that she's not having. Her context is Aboriginal, but her experience is Western.
 |
| Mainstream suburban living in the Ngaanyatjarra Lands |
So as I find out more about where people live and who they live with this week (by virtue of a series of unrelated events), I am struck by a profound awareness that I should know this information already! I live here. Why would I not have a basic awareness of certain family groups, where they generally live, and who they generally are related to?
The reason being is that my contact is tiny compared to the totality of my life here. The reality of an office environment that dictates documentation as proof of accountability. That targets individuals for reasons informed by Western values not local realities. That dictates enormous amounts of travel to neighbouring communities for reasons of efficiency not effectiveness.
And when I have spare time, I chose comfort. Familiarity. Even when I know I shouldn't, and maybe it would help if I just got out more and talked to the family across the road rather than waving a friendly wave as I searched for my front door key.
I'm kunda. Shy. Just as I would be if I were immersed in a culture overseas and sought out the local Western cafe. Just to relax, read a menu in English, and order a drink that makes sense. It's not really experiencing the place, but from outside it certainly looks like you're there (just don't look too hard or you might find it's harder than you think to really be in an unfamiliar place).
